SAM...MORE THAN A CONQUEROR: 2018

Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror

SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Conquering ain't for the fainthearted....

...which is why I leave that up to Sam while I stumble clumsily along wondering which year it is! 2018??? I'm still easing myself into 2017!

"Stumbling" could well describe the manner through which we've approached the past few months...if stumbling could be an appropriate way to get through a four-month-long-relentless-battle-with-ear-problems-with-an-ear-polyp-for-extra-pizzazz-and-a-touch-of-precocious-puberty-sprinkled-with-funky-mouth-issues kind of phase?

Let's go alphabetically (hopefully my literacy skills do not fail me as atrociously as my numerical skills) :

Ears - Sam developed a rather nasty ear infection (in his 'good' ear, sadly) in August. The subsequent treatment thereof was not terribly effective and, three months later, resulted in a polyp and a still lingering infection. Said polyp had to be removed urgently right then and there in an ENT's room (without any sedation or even pain meds) as we only found out about the polyp at that time and leaving it untreated for an additional couple of days (it was a Friday) in order to arrange a theatre date, was not an option. Sam was extremely traumatised by the procedure :(

Funky Mouth Issues - Sam has significant dental overcrowding on his right side and as a result, has an adult tooth which has been trying to drop down for about six or seven months but is being blocked by three other teeth. There seems to be no consensus between the medical role players involved on how to deal with this and so Sam now has an adult tooth which is wanting to bulge randomly through the side of his gum and is causing him immense discomfort :(

Precocious Puberty - after Sam sprouted some rather adult looking hair earlier this year, an MRI revealed that Sam's M.I.A. little testis, which we thought had given up its ghost, is quite snuggly tucked away in the inguinal canal and happily testis-ing away. The immediate concern was that of the high risk of tumours with undescended testes, which would explain why Sam's body was in puberty a year or five too soon! Earlier this year??? #eyeroll Earlier last year! The MRI was revisited and it was concluded that (thankfully) this little testis is tumour-free!With there being several possible causes behind Sam having "testosterone levels of an adult male" (as described by the endocrinologist), the next step was to confirm that Sam is indeed in puberty and then to pinpoint the reason. A bone age test confirmed the Precocious Puberty and it was concluded that it is likely a complication of the type of Cerebral Palsy Sam has. So what now? While (for several reasons) it would be preferable to have our M.I.A. testis safely relocated to Casa del Scrotum, the fact that it is sitting extremely high up in the canal and would need to bypass a significant amount of scar tissue (from the previous surgery) poses a great risk of arriving home damaged! With me having already demanded that the other testis be ousted several years ago #me.winning.always. any damage to our last survivor would not be great. So we shall leave him be for now and do aggressive monitoring for tumours while PP wreaks havoc on Sam's system...both physically and emotionally. The physical changes sure are something to get used to...but the aggression levels are just something else! That, combined with all the other issues going on and having to deal with it all without having the luxury of verbalising your discomfort and extreme emotions, has made for one (often) grumpy little guy. I have seriously considered soundproofing at least one room in the house for fear of having the Police and/or Child Welfare show up one day to find out what all the hysterical screaming is about! And it ain't changing soon folks, as we are going to let the puberty run its course for Sam's longterm benefit.

But, as always, despite there having been a few bumps along the road lately...there have been some amazing moments too. Sam has been taking more and more independent steps and has on occasion managed a good five or six metres on his own! You do have to sort of trick him into thinking you're supporting him, but as soon as his confidence starts overpowering his fear, there'll be no stopping him I'm sure. Aaaaaaaand...Sam has discovered the joy of PRESENTS! So much so that I had to hide any unopened gifts this Christmas which were not for him. His birthday this year is going to be an absolute treat. Once all our 'nigglies' have been sorted out, 2017 is going to be a great year!!