Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror
SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Pasty Smurf

We are on Day 4 of Sam’s virus-croup-combo, but it feels more like Day 40. Sam is kind of on a vomit/fever/coughing roller coaster. He goes through stages when it appears as though he might be on the mend, but then next minute he’s losing his breath, hitting the 38 temps and vomiting again. It’s just a LITTLE frustrating!  The roller coaster did kind of end on a “high” tonight with Sam going down with much less drama than the past few evenings so let’s hope it’s a good sign. I have heard that there is quite a potent virus doing the rounds in Cape Town which has so badly affected children as old as fourteen, that they’ve had to be hospitalized. Doesn’t really set the tone for a great festive season having your child in hospital, so here’s hoping the virus makes itself scarce!

At Sam’s doc appointment on 1 December he worked himself up into such a state when the doc examined him that he landed up vomiting all over both him and I (Sam, that is, not the doc – although he too was starting to look a little green towards the end of the consult). So I decided to go prepared at Wednesday’s appointment with Sam’s paed, even though “going complete” meant having to lug along two separate bags : both Sam’s normal “baby” bag (which is already jam-packed) and then a “pull-in-case-of-emergency” bag consisting of a great big towel (which has proven excellent at vomit catching) and a complete change of clothes. And thank goodness I did. The actual examination was remarkably uneventful, with Sam almost falling asleep at one point. At the end of the consult, I had just finished telling Dr B about how badly Sam has regressed with regards to his sensory issues, when he decided to weigh Sam (completely unawares, of course, of how bad it really is at the moment)…which involved Sam sitting on the baby scale…which (with sitting anywhere being a serious No-No at the moment) then involved Sam freaking out and vomiting everywhere!

Dr B opted to send us home anyway, with strict instructions to get Sam keeping some fluids in by the end of the day or, failing which, a hospital stay and IV were inevitable. I pointed out that Sam’s original surgery date had been Dec 14th and that he was probably determined to stick to the original plan of being in hospital then (he doesn’t take well to change, our Sam) so Dr B suggested I make a detour through the paediatric ward on the way out just to satisfy Sam’s need to be in hospital! I was like, “Errr….let me think about that one….of course not!!”

A rather pasty, bleak little smurf :(

Well, we are eight sleeps away from Christmas Day and we have still not done a scrap of Christmas shopping…although having a vomiting smurf accompany us could prove invaluable in lengthy queues! If he doesn’t improve quite drastically over the next couple of days though, I’m afraid all of our pressies are going to be in the form of a stack of I.O.U.’s….imagine?

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