SAM...MORE THAN A CONQUEROR: Yo-Yo-ing...care to join me?

Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror

SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Yo-Yo-ing...care to join me?

I have been rapped across the knuckles by one or two people for not having updated Sam's blog recently, but the truth is there's really been nothing remotely blog-worthy to post about. And, yes, I know in the past this would not have prevented me from subjecting all-and-sundry to my senseless ramblings but we just seem to be caught in this yo-yo-ing time bubble which, I can only imagine, must be pretty tedious to have to read about.

The last two weeks have been filled with much of the usual same old-same old, with the exception of an additional joint-attention speech therapy session last week Tuesday, a follow-up visit to Sam's neurosurgeon on Wednesday and Meg's eleventh birthday yesterday.

So the joint-attention speech therapy went relatively well. Tanya was pleased to see that Sam remained engaged with Meg for the entire thirty minute session, which is quite something because quite often he flits from one activity to the other at regular thirty second intervals, nevermind thirty minutes. Meg just brings out an entirely different side to Sam, completely playful and just so utterly little-boyish as he tackles her and giggles hysterically - it's pure joy to watch. The only minor downside was that Meg, for some completely unexpected reason, was suddenly overcome with uncharacteristic shyness (possibly as a result of Tanya video recording the session) and did not "verbalise"as much with Sam as she does at home. For those of you who personally know Meg, this is quite unusual for a little girl who will quite randomly and without any ado break into song and dance in the middle of a restaurant or shopping centre, or demand that I waltz with her in a doctor's waiting room or something equally unreserved. Regardless, Tanya seemed satisfied that we are still moving in the right direction with Sam which is all we can ask for. About three days ago Sam started making a new sound, sort of like a car sound, and seems to be exploring more with what noises his mouth and tongue are capable of producing.

The follow-up with Sam's neurosurgeon was relatively unremarkable. The consultation started out relaxed enough with Sam banging happily on the desk and pointing out to me every chair he could catch sight of (have I mentioned that Sam has an almost impossible chair fetish) but the second APF moved in closer for an actual examination, Sam initiated his defence mode (arm in "shielding" position across his chest and face) which made APF's task a little more difficult. After performing what examination he could around Sam's defensiveness, Prof F said that he felt all was still going well with Sam spinal cord and reflexes, etc. He did remind me of the exceptionally rare, but still note-worthy, chance that the spinal cord can re-tether when it is repaired at such a young age but felt that, as it would present with the same symptoms it did in the first place, it would hardly go unnoticed. We did agree that an MRI conveniently coupled with any upcoming surgeries in the next year or so would not be a complete waste of time.

Sam's general wellbeing over the last two weeks has been all over the place. Something positive or encouraging happens and I make a mental note to blog about it but before I get a chance to hit the keyboard, something less positive and perhaps a little worrying happens and then I kinda lose the spirit of mentioning the "good" thing because you sort of ask yourself "What's the point? I am just going to have to mention the not-so-great thing afterwards!"

For example : About a week ago, just out of the blue, I decided to try Sam on some Stage 3 baby food and low-and-behold without a single gag or tiny bit of resistance, he polished the food off. I gave the Stage 3 food for another day or two and he carried on eating it without any hesitation. In the meantime, he's developed this really bad habit of insisting on eating from my plate, without obviously being able to understand that it's not always something he'll tolerate. But the one day I had a PB&J sarmie, Sam gestured pointedly at my sarmie so I gave him a bite...and another bite...and another bite and eventually had to make him his own sarmie, which he ate about ⅔ of. The next evening he had a bite of my McD's burger, patty and all, and swallowed quite easily. I was too scared to celebrate too loudly because we all know my friend Murph by now...and, just as expected, by Monday Sam was not only no longer tolerating the Stage 3 baby food anymore, but even gagging on his normal ultra-pureed food. And the reason? Sam is in the throws of coming down with something nasty again. On Saturday night he battled with a snotty nose and problems swallowing while he was asleep, on Monday morning he woke up with a temp just under 38 ºc and by yesterday his tonsils were looking quite remarkably sago-pudding-like (Chris's creative description) with the left one sporting about three of those little pus follicles already.

I decided not to rush immediately to the doc, because I already know what course of action he's going to advise...but instead am just praying frantically that somehow that darn Zithromax will kick-in or kick-butt against whatever relentless viral thing it is that is wreaking havoc on Sam's immune system. I am starting to worry that something is being overlooked...something serious, because I just find it quite challenging to accept that Sam's immune system is THAT compromised that it cannot rid itself of this virus. I do, at the very least, weekly urine analysis' on Sam's urine and realised yesterday that the last "normal" results were at the end of November last year. Unfortunately, come tomorrow, my holding out for the sake of an answered prayer will begin to teeter dangerously on the side of negligence and I will have to make that appointment. But still a few good praying hours left.....care to join me?