SAM...MORE THAN A CONQUEROR: The crushing of spirits...

Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror

SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Monday, July 22, 2013

The crushing of spirits...

...is a heartbreaking matter, isn't it. It can occur for a number of reasons...being made to feel worthless, inferior, different, inadequate, misunderstood...whatever. And whether it happens often or is a fleeting experience, it still hurts the same.

It can happen to anyone really...young, old, typical or differently-abled. As folks of differently-abled children, we tend to find ourselves more often than not grappling with society's general intolerance of different when our hearts' treasures are treated unkindly, perhaps even with a tinge of self-righteousness (my way is better), purely because they behave/communicate/function in a way that is, for them, the best possible way to cope and meet their challenges but not what their peers are familiar with.

And just as our kiddies adapt each to their unique journey, so do we as their folks, right? Some folks are empowered, filled with passion to change the world, out there advocating and shouting from the rooftops. Some are a little more subdued, are too filled with passion but simply to carry their family through each day without surrendering and struggle to merely see life passed the rooftops. Some stagger drunkedly (not literally) between the two. Are any of these the more appropriate/accepted/superior approach? Is there an appropriate/accepted/superior approach? If there is, please do point me in the direction of its creator as I desperately need to take notes.

And yet...every now and again, when and where you least expect it, a little quirp...an innocent utterance happens. A comment beginning with "Well I personally don't believe this-and-this but instead prefer that-and-that" or something to the likes of such. Sometimes it's far more aggressive, unguarded disdain for a question posed on a forum, a link shared on a social network. Could it be? Is it AT ALL possible that sometimes, oh very very occasionally, us mature, adept and informed adults might too frolick a little in the pool of intolerance and hautiness? Oh, have no fear, my pedestal of self-righteousness has crumbled to the floor as I most certainly have allowed myself at times to think "That's not how I would have done it..."

I posted a pretty harsh comment on FB recently after a few of our RTS kiddo's found themselves victim to varying degrees of, well, discrimination. (Hey, when it's one of your own, the gloves come off!) But in hindsight wondered how challenging it must be for children to practice complete acceptance and open-mindedness if us as parents, leading our children by example, struggle sometimes too :)