SAM...MORE THAN A CONQUEROR: Lost in Translation

Sam. Conqueror. Overcomer.

"IN ALL THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US : Samuel was born on 15th May 2009, two months early and in respiratory distress. After an initial Apgar score of 1, he was taken to the NICU and placed on a ventilator, together with an undeterminable amount of tubes, IV’s and monitors which made it almost impossible to see the little Smurfie character lying within…slightly blue and only three apples high. Sam was diagnosed within 24 hours with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome, a scarce medical advantage as, due to the rare occurrence of the Syndrome and the limited medical literature on it, many individuals are only diagnosed well into adulthood and some never at all. The page-long list of medical/health issues related to the syndrome, while vital in providing a prognosis and compiling a care plan, took a backseat, however, as Sam’s struggle to breathe and swallow became the primary focus of our concerns and prayers, deepened only by the heartache of not being allowed to hold and comfort him for the first ten days of his already traumatic life. After seven weeks Sam was successfully weaned from the oxygen but was still dependent on a nasal gastric tube for feeding, with which he was eventually discharged. Once home, what should have been a precious time to recover from the stress of the NICU and enjoy a relaxed and cherished time together, instead became a seemingly-endless timeline of specialist appointments, therapies, illnesses and surgeries as that page-long list of medical complexities came into play, affecting every part of Sam…physically, neurologically, medically and emotionally. Yet, despite these challenges and an “ineducable” future being predicted when his prognosis was delivered, Sam showed a delightful potential and eagerness for learning. Unfortunately though, this learning potential seemed limited to his cognitive abilities as, physically, Sam’s development lagged significantly behind that of his RTS peers. A week before his 5th birthday a brain MRI confirmed that, in addition to the RTS, Sam also has Periventricular Leukomalacia and Static Leukoencephalopathy (included under the umbrella diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy), which would more than likely have occurred as a result of the oxygen deprivation experienced leading up to and/or during his birth. Thirteen years later and with a number of surgeries and medical procedures which appear to be in fierce competition for their own “page-long list” (which surgeries and their subsequent recoveries have left Sam to face his day-to-day life with a residue of unshakeable anxieties and phobias), the boy you meet face-to-face…with his cheeky sense of humour, unfathomable joy and fierce warrior spirit…make it almost impossible to believe that that disheartening brain MRI and poor medical prognosis are of the same kid. As we begin to navigate this journey with a newly aged differently-abled teenager, leaving behind the little smurf whose fears and discomforts could so easily be remedied with a cuddle on mom’s lap, the anxiety of more surgeries and medical challenges now compounded by the universal fear of every differently-abled child’s parent/s (who will take care of their child once their own time here is gone) threatens to become overwhelming. But then the excitement of a horseriding lesson, the sheer delight of spotting a balloon (especially a hot air balloon) or a super silly giggle caused by simply hearing someone sneeze provides a beautiful reminder of the profound joy and courage these children radiate, despite their overwhelming challenges, and it provides the perfect encouragement and inspiration for facing your own. #samtheconqueror

SAMUEL - COMPLETE IN GOD
Our world has crashed, been blown apart.
This can't be happening....why us? Why now?
Your fragile life shaken before it could barely start,
How do we get through this...please, Lord, tell us how?

Drowning in our sorrow, waiting for answers that just don't come.
Our baby "special needs"? It simply can't be true!
The heartache overwhelms us, we're left feeling cold and numb.
The diagnosis tells us little - these children are so few.

But then we finallyget to touch you, to see your precious face
And all the heartache and questions fade, replaced with love and pride.
It's obvious from the very start you're showered in God's grace,
And with His love and guidance, we'll take this challenge in stride.

When once we couldn't pronounce it, Rubinstein-Taybi's become our norm.
When once the future seemed dark, we now welcome the journey as having an RTS angel brings lessons in unexpected form.

Our world has crashed, been blown apart!
This IS happening....to us.....right now!
We've been blessed with a gift, so precious from the very start. How do we get through this? Here's how.....
By believing in a God, so merciful and great,
By trusting that He's right beside us as we journey through the narrow gate.
By believing His love for us is not determined by a human frame,
By trusting that we draw Him near by merely calling His name. This precious baby we asked God for,
Prayed he'd be perfect and complete.
And, as Samuel means "God hears", He's laid His answer at our feet.

(Nicky de Beer : 27/05/2010)

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Lost in Translation

Perhaps a more accurate heading would be "Lost in Interpretation" but it doesn't quite grab one the same, does it?

Either way, the way Sam interprets information sure is fascinating. When I was sort of groping around for behaviour guidance, I introduced a naughty chair as a means of discipline. And then loaded a pic of it onto the iPad together with the other items relevant to Sam's life, as well as to all those beautifully professional hand-drawn books Sam has a habit of dragging out of the woodwork...particularly when we're going out in public. Next to the naughty chair was a little poster displaying which possible actions would have landed that smurfy little posterior in the chair and what the acceptable alternatives would have been, eg. smacking vs soft touch.

Well no sooner had I added them when I had to remove all the pics because Sam would be happily flicking through them, minding his own business, until a pic of that darn naughty chair popped up. Then instantly his hand would go out and slap whoever was within range...slapping meant naughty chair and naughty chair meant slapping.

By now it's become common practice (with all children) to reinforce positive behaviour as opposed to focalising negative behaviour, eg. don't throw vs please put down softly. Sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? Except when the 16yrs of parenting prior to needing a more attentive approach to a child with communication challenges was filled with "No's" and "Don'ts", those allegedly-detrimental statements always seem to run a kickbutt race to the finish line that is my mouth! #thehorror

The other problem of course is the very simple fact that, when finished with something, the more natural process seems to be to throw it down instead of putting it down, well for Sam anyhow and, from what I can remember, a few of Sam's RTS siblings have/had a tendency to do the same. For this reason, I very seldom take the iPad with in the car and, on the odd occasion I do, it is only when there will be someone sitting next to Sam at the back. Up until last Friday that is.

About to leave home for a particularly long wait outside Meg's school, I passed the iPad on the table just as I was wondering how I was going to keep Sam occupied in the warm car. A quick back-and-forth of "Should I, shouldn't I" ensued and before I knew it, Sam was in his carseat and being handed the iPad.

DO NOT SAY "DON'T THROW!"
DO NOT SAY "DON'T THROW!"
DO NOT SAY "DON'T THROW!"

"Sam, when you are finished with the iPad, ta for Mommy"

"DO.NOT.THROW.THE.IPAD!"

WHAT??? WHO SAID THAT???

Well, before I had the chance to pounce on the sneaky scoundrel who'd dared utter those words (in a remarkably similar voice to mine, I might add) , the iPad was out the still open door and hitting the cement floor with a stomach-curdling CRACK!

Mom's reflexes : 0
iPad repair place : 3

There very nearly wasn't a 3rd round for the iPad repair place with more pressing issues needing attention, but Sam's granny came to his rescue by offering to see to the costs. And, with today been the fourth day without his electronic appendage, frustration and lack of understanding why he could not have his iPad, reached an almost unbearable high and saw me getting walloped on the forehead with a wooden hammer during occupational therapy.

Mom's reflexes : 0
Bump on noggin : 1

Hmmmmm...perhaps it is I who is lost in translation!